Having cancer or caring for a cancer patient in the family is hard, but cancer during traditionally happy holidays is even harder. It is a time when each family enjoys traditional shared activities, usually characterized by good food, drink, and company. Yet, how can you carry out these traditions when you are in the throes of cancer treatment or even dealing with the aftermath? The most important message from cancer caregivers who have worked through these challenges is to seek normalcy, no matter what the patient's prognosis. It may sound counterintuitive, but it is profound. It all stems from the issue of control. Throughout the cancer-care process, caregivers and patients experience a fundamental loss of control. On some days, it may feel as though there is nothing left of the "good old days." They describe their quest for normalcy, for moments of precancer life, a time before every aspect of their lives was turned upside down. They are less available than usual and, even when available, they may be feeling depressed, anxious, or preoccupied. Perhaps worst of all, their friends and relatives often do not know what to say, or do, to help.
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